#YesAllWomen

I’ve been reading the tweets all day, and I’m still trying to understand. There seem to be some very genuine and moving tweets about real issues; tweets that highlight the discrimination, misogyny, and everyday issues that women face. And now to get myself into trouble: there seem to be a number of tweets that I just struggle to understand as real ”feminist” issues – not that I don’t see how they can cause offense – but how women should somehow be exempt from offense, when guys aren’t. But that is another post, for now let me highlight what I think is one of the most powerful tweets of the day:

 “Men who decide to respect a woman because they're someone's mom/sister/wife/etc, instead of because she's her own person #YesAllWomen”

The well-meaning saying behind this one is that a men (presumably) must think of a woman they are pursuing as someone else’s relation. This is meant to evoke empathy. What if it were your daughter? Your wife? Etc. Now while I don’t feel there is anything wrong with the saying – we use similar ones when trying to gain sympathy for soldiers (this is someone’s son, daughter, husband, wife, father etc.), it is a great reminder that we need to move to a period where all people are viewed as subjects: their own autonomous beings with intrinsic worth, and not as objects: to be owned. As such, the old saying is meant as a bridge, to help people understand and empathize. The tweet in contrast, is a prophetic reminder that we need to cross that bridge to a place where every person is a person.

Moreover, as I was watching #NotAllMen trend – the expected “devil’s advocate” response to such an emotive topic – I realized that #YesAllWomen has nothing to do with the fact that most men aren’t misogynists, rapers, women-beaters, etc.  It has to do with the fact that these are the experiences of women that should be listened to and acted upon. Moreover, it has to do with the fact that #NotAllMen respect women yet, and #NotAllMen stand up to the few men that don’t. And until #AllMen do stand up to to the extent that the problem disappears, #YesAllWoman will remain a valid #hashtag and more importantly, a necessary movement.